Frequently humans will ask me how to keep their kitties off the furniture. Tables, counters - some humans don't even want the kitties on the couch! As far as I know, this goal of a cat who stays on the floor is an impossible one. The humans can chase and squirt with water and yell and use foil on the counters, and all they will get is an angry cat and frazzeled nerves. The cat will still get onto furniture when the human is not around. We cats are far too smart to be "trained" by simple methods that might work with dogs.
There is something going on here that humans don't have a chace of overcoming: we cats are natural climbers. Climbing is in our genes. It is Mother Nature speaking. All cats naturally climb. Asking a cat not to climb is like asking a human to not walk.
You can provide climbing trees for your kitties, and cat shelves under the windows. Your kitties will love you for it. Other than that, put your fragile things away, cover the furniture with washable throw clothes, and stop fussing. Both you and your cats will be happier.
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